A couple of weeks ago Callum came to me and said that he wanted to go beating. Then he said he wanted to go fly fishing as well. My first reaction was to say that if he realy wanted to go then I would gladly take him. Then after a couple of hours I started to worry a bit. Did he say that because he wanted to go or did he say that because he was trying to replace Sean. When Sean and I went beating it was allways know as Sean and Daddy day and Callum and Mummy day as Callum had shown no interest in going with us. When we all went out it was allways Sean and me and Callum and Hazell who sat together or walked together. I have allways loved and treated them both the same as has Hazell but it just turned out that way. Now Sean has gone Is Callum trying to make up for the loss of Sean ?. Who knows what goes through the mind of an eight year old.
When we got Buster Callum changed overnight. He started to smile and laugh a lot . He was back to his old self again. Plus he opened up a lot more. Even his teachers had noticed the difference in him. He even talks about Sean now which he would never do before. Callum still will not go near Seans grave yet but we shall not force him to go. He will go when he is ready and only he will know that.
We have been busy over the last couple of months with going to Highclere, The Cotswold Show and the CLA Game Fair. All of which Callum wanted to go with Buster. He has started wearing a realtree cap which he wanted at Highclere similar to the one Sean used to wear. He also wanted a realtree jacket as well. Now when I see him wearng them I see Sean.
Is he trying to be like Sean I hope not. I want him to be like Callum not a Sean clone. Am I wrong in thinking that.? Am I wrong in thinking he is trying to make up for Sean ? I just dont know.
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